Ruben Amorim Sacked: Manchester United’s Managerial Merry-Go-Round Spins Again
Well, folks, reset the “Days Since Man United Crisis” counter back to zero. It happened—again. In news that surprises absolutely nobody who has watched the Red Devils flounder like a Magikarp for the last decade, Ruben Amorim has been shown the door.
After a whirlwind 14 months that felt simultaneously like five minutes and five decades, the Portuguese tactician has been relieved of his duties. If you listen closely, you can almost hear the collective sigh of exhaustion from the Old Trafford faithful. It’s becoming a bit of a running gag at this point, isn’t it? Like a glitchy NPC in a Bethesda game that keeps walking into the same wall, Manchester United just cannot seem to figure out their managerial situation.
The Inevitable End of the Amorim Era
Let’s be real: the writing was on the wall in permanent marker. The club released a statement claiming they “reluctantly” made the decision. Reluctantly? Please. Corporate press releases have less soul than an AI chatbot. They claimed it was the right time for a change to give the team the “best opportunity” for a high finish. Currently sitting in sixth place, that feels optimistic at best.
This decision comes hot on the heels of a 1-1 draw against Leeds United. A draw isn’t a disaster in isolation, but at a club with the ego of Manchester United, drawing against fierce rivals while sitting outside the Champions League spots is basically a capital offense. But let’s be honest, it wasn’t just the draw. It was the vibes. And the vibes under Amorim have been rancid for a while now.
Going Down Swinging: The Press Conference Meltdown
If you’re going to get fired, you might as well go out with a bang, and Amorim certainly did that. His post-match press conference after the Leeds game was pure cinema. You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.
Instead of the usual “we go again” PR fluff, Amorim chose violence. He openly called out the scouting department and Jason Wilcox, the Director of Football, telling them to “do their job.” Ouch. He then went on a bizarre, defensive tirade about how he is the “Manager” of Manchester United, not just the “Coach.”
“I know that my name is not Tuchel, it’s not Conte, it’s not Mourinho,” he snapped. No, Ruben, it isn’t. But ironically, he’s now joined them in the exclusive club of managers chewed up and spat out by the Old Trafford machine. It was a moment of raw frustration that highlighted just how broken the communication is behind the scenes. When the manager is publicly fighting his own board in a presser, you know the end isn’t just near; it’s already happened.
A Legacy of “What Ifs” and 15th Place
Looking back at his tenure, it’s a mixed bag of mediocrity. Amorim arrived in November 2024 with a reputation as one of Europe’s brightest young minds. He managed to drag the team to a Europa League final in Bilbao (which they promptly lost to Tottenham, because of course they did).
But the real kicker? The team finished 15th in the Premier League last season. Read that again. Fifteenth. That is relegation-battle form for a squad that costs more than the GDP of a small island nation. How he survived that summer is a mystery for the ages.
His 14-month stint goes down as the shortest reign of a permanent manager since the ill-fated days of David Moyes. It’s a statistic that stings. Moyes was the “Chosen One,” and Amorim was supposed to be the modern tactical genius. Both left with their reputations battered.
Enter Darren Fletcher (Again)
So, who picks up the pieces of this shattered vase? Darren Fletcher. Again. The current Under-18s coach steps in to take charge against Burnley. It feels like Fletcher is the designated driver for a friend group that keeps getting too drunk. He’s reliable, he’s there, but he’s not the guy you want planning the party.
The club wishes Amorim “well for the future,” which is code for “please don’t sue us for the rest of your contract.” As for the fans? They are left wondering who is next to drink from the poisoned chalice.
The reality is, until the structure above the manager changes, it doesn’t matter if they hire Pep Guardiola or Ted Lasso. The result will likely be the same. Amorim is just the latest victim in a long line of casualties at the Theatre of Dreams, which is looking more like the Theatre of Memes every single day.
RIP to the Amorim era. We hardly knew ye.
