ESPN Gives Wrestlepalooza 2025 a Brutal C Grade Review: Was WWE’s Return Really That Bad?

Well, well, well. Look who’s throwing stones from their glass house. ESPN, WWE’s shiny new streaming partner, just handed Wrestlepalooza 2025 a C grade like they’re grading a high school history paper. And honestly? The audacity is almost impressive.

After all the fanfare surrounding WWE’s landmark deal with ESPN, you’d think there’d be some honeymoon period. But no, Andreas Hale from ESPN’s combat sports division came out swinging harder than Brock Lesnar on a bad day, declaring that the event “fell a little short of expectations.” Ouch.

ESPN’s Wrestlepalooza Report Card Hits Different

Let’s break down what happened here. ESPN decided to play teacher and grade WWE‘s first premium live event on their platform like it was some kind of midterm exam. The results? Not exactly what you’d call encouraging for a company that just signed a multi-billion-dollar deal.

Hale’s review read like a disappointed parent’s report: “For a card that promised to have epic moments, it fell a little short of expectations.” Thanks for that crushing analysis, ESPN. Really insightful stuff there.

The most shocking part? The match everyone expected to steal the show – Brock Lesnar vs John Cena – got slapped with a C-. A C-minus! For two future Hall of Famers! That’s the kind of grade that gets you grounded and your Xbox taken away.

What Actually Worked at Wrestlepalooza

Credit where credit’s due – even ESPN couldn’t completely trash everything. The bright spot of the evening, according to Hale, was Stephanie Vaquer vs Iyo Sky for the Women’s World Championship. This match earned a respectable B+, which in ESPN’s apparently harsh grading system might as well be a perfect score.

Hale actually praised this clash as an “excellent encounter between two prolific performers” that “saved the event from being truly average.” So basically, two women carried an entire premium live event on their backs while the marquee matches stumbled around like they’d been hit with a steel chair.

The mixed tag team match featuring Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch against CM Punk and AJ Lee also got decent marks, though apparently not enough to save the overall event from mediocrity in ESPN’s eyes.

The Lesnar-Cena Disaster According to ESPN

Here’s where things get really brutal. The match that should have been a guaranteed crowd-pleaser – Brock Lesnar destroying John Cena‘s retirement tour – apparently wasn’t even worth watching. ESPN described it as “not much of a match” and basically called it a glorified setup for future storylines.

Now, anyone who’s been watching WWE for more than five minutes knows that’s literally how the company operates. Everything’s a setup for something else. It’s like complaining that soap operas have cliffhangers. But ESPN seemed genuinely shocked by this revelation, which makes you wonder if they’ve ever actually watched wrestling before signing this deal.

Did ESPN Set Unrealistic Expectations?

Here’s the thing that’s really grinding my gears about this whole situation. ESPN signed a massive deal with WWE, then immediately started nitpicking like they expected WrestleMania-level entertainment from a returning event that hadn’t happened in 25 years.

Wrestlepalooza was making its comeback after being dormant since 2000 when ECW last hosted it. This wasn’t supposed to be the wrestling equivalent of the Super Bowl – it was WWE testing the waters with their new streaming partner. But ESPN apparently expected fireworks, five-star matches, and probably a live performance by The Rock while we’re at it.

The company has Survivor Series: WarGames and Crown Jewel coming up. Any wrestling fan with half a brain knows WWE saves their biggest moments for their major events. Expecting Wrestlepalooza to deliver earth-shattering moments was like expecting a preseason game to have Super Bowl-level intensity.

WWE’s Strategic Storytelling vs ESPN’s Instant Gratification

What ESPN seems to fundamentally misunderstand is that WWE operates on long-term storytelling. The matches at Wrestlepalooza weren’t meant to be standalone masterpieces – they were chapters in ongoing narratives that will pay off over months, not minutes.

The Lesnar-Cena match that ESPN trashed? It’s setting up John Cena’s retirement tour storyline. The mixed tag team match? It’s building toward bigger confrontations down the line. This is Wrestling 101, but ESPN treated it like some kind of shocking revelation.

It’s almost cute how ESPN expected immediate satisfaction from a wrestling company that’s built its entire empire on making fans wait for the payoff. They wanted the climax without understanding they were watching the rising action.

The Reality Check ESPN Needed

Look, was Wrestlepalooza perfect? Absolutely not. Was it deserving of a C grade from a company that just became WWE’s streaming partner? That’s debatable, and the debate doesn’t look good for ESPN’s credibility as wrestling analysts.

The fact that ESPN couldn’t find more to praise in an event featuring some of the biggest names in wrestling history says more about their expectations than WWE’s performance. When your grading system makes a B+ seem like a miracle, maybe it’s time to recalibrate.

This review feels less like professional analysis and more like buyer’s remorse from a company that just realized what they actually paid billions for. Wrestling isn’t always going to deliver five-star classics every single night, and ESPN better get comfortable with that reality fast.

The partnership between WWE and ESPN is just getting started, and if this is how ESPN plans to cover their new investment, it’s going to be a long, awkward relationship. Maybe next time they should manage their expectations before handing out grades like a disappointed high school teacher.