WWE SmackDown Results: Pat McAfee Hijacks the Road to WrestleMania (And Danhausen Gets the Ultimate Win)

Let’s just rip the band-aid off right now: if you told me a month ago that the road to WrestleMania 42 would be paved with Dodge RAM truck commercials and Jelly Roll getting dragged around like a sack of potatoes, I would have asked what you were drinking.

But here we are. WWE SmackDown rolled into the SAP Center in San Jose this Friday night, and instead of white-hot anticipation for the “Show of Shows,” we got a chaotic, celebrity-infused fever dream that left a lot of us scratching our heads. There were moments of pure brilliance, sure, but they were buried under a mountain of head-scratching booking decisions.Let’s break down the good, the bad, and the very, very evil from this week’s SmackDown.

The Pat McAfee Mess: When Celebrities Hijack the Main Event

Look, I get it. WWE loves mainstream crossover appeal. But shoehorning Pat McAfee and Jelly Roll into a blood feud between Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton is like putting ketchup on a wagyu steak. It’s unnecessary, and it ruins the flavor of something that took 20 years to age.

McAfee hit the ring to cut a promo on Smackdown that felt less like a wrestling angle and more like a late-night infomercial. He took some shots at CM Punk—calling him a corporate fraud—which was fine, but then he literally pivoted into announcing a 25% discount for WrestleMania Saturday tickets. Seriously. It was a sales pitch disguised as a storyline.

Cody Rhodes, bless his heart, tried his absolute best to salvage the segment. He came out, told McAfee to go back to his podcast desk, and reminded everyone that the fans actually want to see Rhodes vs. Orton. But before Cody could clean up the mess, Orton appeared on the TitanTron, standing over a battered Jelly Roll. Orton dragged the musician onto the stage, ambushed Cody from behind, and left him lying in the ring. McAfee then paraded around with Cody’s Undisputed WWE Championship. I’m exhausted just typing that out. Can we just let the actual wrestlers wrestle next week?

Royce Keys Arrives: A Debut That Actually Makes Sense

Thankfully, it wasn’t all bad news. We finally got the televised in-ring debut of Royce Keys on Smackdown, and man, it delivered.

After weeks of anticipation and a great video package detailing his rough upbringing and salvation through his grandparents, Keys stepped into the ring against Berto. This was exactly what a debut should be: no nonsense, all power. Keys threw Berto around the ring as he owed him money, finishing him off with a gorgeous spinebuster that nearly put a hole in the canvas.

Keys is a legitimate powerhouse, and his post-match backstage segment with Solo Sikoa—where Solo ominously told him his “door is always open”—adds an immediate layer of intrigue. SmackDown desperately needs fresh blood in the heavyweight division, and Keys looks ready to eat.

Very Nice, Very Evil, Very Victorious: Danhausen’s In-Ring Debut

If you had Danhausen winning his first official WWE Smackdown match via a literal magic curse on your 2026 bingo card, please go buy a lottery ticket.

In what might be the greatest palate cleanser in SmackDown history, Danhausen faced off against Kit Wilson. Wilson dominated early, mocking Danhausen’s entire gimmick. But when Wilson climbed to the top rope for an elbow drop, Danhausen sat up like the Undertaker and hexed him. Suddenly, the ring post pyro exploded, terrifying Wilson and sending him crashing to the mat. One bicycle kick later, and Danhausen is undefeated in WWE. It was stupid, it was hilarious, and frankly, I loved every single second of it.

The Scottish Psychopath Unleashed: Drew McIntyre Destroys Jacob Fatu

If Danhausen was the comedy relief, Drew McIntyre brought the horror movie.Jacob Fatu had a genuinely great, hard-hitting match against Tama Tonga, picking up the win with a beautiful moonsault. But Fatu barely had time to celebrate before McIntyre jumped him from behind.

McIntyre didn’t just beat Fatu up; he tried to end his career. Drew hit a Claymore, dragged Fatu out of the ring, handcuffed him to the ring post, and beat him mercilessly with a leather strap. It was uncomfortable, visceral, and incredibly effective. Their Unsanctioned Match at WrestleMania is going to be an absolute car crash, and I am entirely here for it.

Jade Cargill Demolishes Iyo Sky (And We Have Questions)

The main event featured Women’s Champion Jade Cargill versus Iyo Sky in a surprisingly brief contest. Despite Sky’s status as a top-tier performer with a history of classics, Cargill pinned her clean in under ten minutes.

It’s clear WWE is trying to make Cargill look like an unstoppable juggernaut heading into her title defense against Rhea Ripley. Cargill hit her with everything, surviving a brief flurry of offense from Sky to land the Jaded for the win. Ripley ran down post-match to save Sky from a chair attack, building the tension for Vegas. The story is working, but seeing Iyo Sky nerfed to serve as a stepping stone is a bitter pill to swallow for longtime fans.

We’re officially one week away from WrestleMania. Let’s hope WWE tightens the screws, ditches the sales pitches, and lets the talent do what they do best.