Nick Kyrgios Wins Bizarre Battle of the Sexes Against Aryna Sabalenka

If you thought 2025 couldn’t get any weirder in the world of sports, think again. In what can only be described as a custom lobby match with the wildest house rules enabled, Nick Kyrgios has officially defeated Aryna Sabalenka in a “Battle of the Sexes” exhibition in Dubai.

Let’s be honest: when this was announced, we all raised an eyebrow. Was this going to be a legitimate sporting contest or just a glorified content farm for social media? It turned out to be a little bit of both. The Australian “bad boy” of tennis, who has been effectively AFK from the tour for nearly 10 months due to injury, managed to shake off the rust and take down the women’s World No. 1 in straight sets. But before you go crowning him the king of everything, we need to talk about the absolutely unhinged ruleset they played with.

The Patch Notes: How They Nerfed the Court

This wasn’t your standard Sunday hit at the local club. To make things “fair”—or at least, to extend the match beyond twenty minutes—the organizers implemented some serious balance changes. It felt like the developers dropped a hotfix right before the match started.

First off, both players were restricted to a single serve. That’s right—no second chances. If you fault, you lose the point. For a guy like Kyrgios, whose game relies heavily on booming serves, this was a massive nerf. It forced both players to play safer, resulting in some shaky moments on crucial points.

But the wildest change? They actually shrank the map. Sabalenka’s side of the court was reduced by nine percent. Imagine playing a competitive shooter and your opponent’s hitbox is just randomly smaller than yours. Despite these handicaps designed to level the playing field, Kyrgios still managed to control the flow of the game, proving that raw power and reach are hard to patch out.

How the Showdown Actually Played Out

The match ended with a scoreline of 6-3, 6-3 in favor of the Australian. For someone ranked 671 globally after playing virtually no professional matches in three seasons, Kyrgios looked surprisingly sharp.

In the first set, he broke Sabalenka’s serve to take a 4-3 lead and didn’t look back. It wasn’t a total blowout—Sabalenka put up a fight and definitely had her moments—but Kyrgios had that chaotic energy that’s hard to prep for. Sabalenka noted afterward that Kyrgios was “struggling” and “got really tired” toward the end, which makes sense considering his lack of match fitness. But even a tired Kyrgios was enough to close out the exhibition.

Not Exactly Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs

Let’s address the elephant in the room. The branding of this event as a “Battle of the Sexes” drew obvious comparisons to the iconic 1973 match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs. That match was a cultural turning point, a fight for equality, and a legitimate statement.

This match in Dubai? It felt more like a microtransaction. Organized by the agency that manages both players, it screamed “commercial spectacle” rather than “societal milestone.” Critics have been tearing it apart for lacking the gravity of the original. Plus, there’s the controversy of having Kyrgios as the representative for the men’s side. given his history—including admitting to assaulting an ex-girlfriend in 2021—many fans felt he was a confusing, if not poor, choice for a format that is historically rooted in gender dynamics.

Post-Game Lobby Chat

After the match, the vibes were surprisingly chill. Kyrgios, usually known for smashing racquets and arguing with umpires (or the crowd, or himself), was actually pretty humble.

“Honestly, it was a really tough match, she is a hell of a player and such a great champion,” Kyrgios said, sounding genuinely relieved he didn’t embarrass himself. “I didn’t really know what to expect. Whatever role I was to play, it was just another great opportunity to go out here.”

Sabalenka, ever the competitor, is already looking for a runback. “Next time when I play him, I already know the tactics—his strengths and weaknesses—and it will be a better match for sure,” she said. It sounds like she’s ready to study the VODs and come back with a better strategy.

What’s Next for the Bad Boy of Tennis?

So, what does this actually mean for Kyrgios? Is he back, or is he just doing side quests? Well, he’s set to make a real comeback to the ATP Tour at the Brisbane International in January, thanks to a wildcard entry. This exhibition was basically a warm-up session to see if his body holds up.

If he can bring the same level of focus (and maybe a second serve) to Brisbane, we might actually see a resurgence. But for now, he can claim bragging rights in one of the weirdest, most gimmicky tennis matches of 2025.