Argentina vs Puerto Rico: Lionel Messi Shines Even Without Scoring

Well, isn’t this a familiar sight? Lionel Messi, back on his home turf at Chase Stadium, decided to grace us all with his presence for Argentina’s “friendly” against Puerto Rico. And by “friendly,” I mean a complete and utter demolition that ended 6-0. The most shocking part? Messi didn’t even score. I know, I was clutching my pearls too. Instead, he just casually dropped two assists and orchestrated another goal like a puppet master pulling the strings. It’s almost like he’s good at this soccer thing.

Messi’s Masterclass in a Mismatched Mayhem

Let’s be real, this matchup was about as balanced as a seesaw with an elephant on one end and a hamster on the other. We had the reigning World Cup champions, ranked third globally, taking on Puerto Rico, a team sitting at a cozy 155th in the FIFA rankings. Their lineup even featured some college players. Yes, college players. I’m sure Sebastian Cutler, Villanova’s goalkeeper, will have a fantastic story to tell about the time he stoned Messi not once, but twice. That’s probably going on his resume right under “Dean’s List.”

The game itself was… well, it was a game. Puerto Rico almost gave us a heart attack in the eighth minute when Leandro Antonetti launched a prayer from beyond midfield. Argentina’s keeper, Emiliano Martínez, had to scramble back like he’d forgotten to turn off the stove, barely tipping it over the bar. After that brief moment of excitement, it was all Argentina.

Alexis Mac Allister decided to bag a couple of goals for himself, because why not? Gonzalo Montiel got in on the action thanks to a classic, perfectly weighted lob from Messi. Then, just to rub it in, Argentina benefited from an own goal. To cap it all off, Lautaro Martínez netted two goals, one courtesy of a slick little back-pass from Messi himself in the 83rd minute. It was a display of pure, unadulterated dominance that was both thrilling and a little bit sad to watch.

Why Was This Game Even in Florida?

The backstory of this game is almost more entertaining than the on-field action. Originally slated for Chicago’s Soldier Field, the match was hastily relocated to Fort Lauderdale. Why, you ask? Depends on who you talk to. Chicago officials mumbled something about “low ticket sales,” which sounds suspicious for any game involving Messi.

Meanwhile, the Argentine soccer federation pointed fingers at an immigration crackdown in the Chicago area. Whatever the real reason, tickets were going for as low as $25. Twenty-five dollars to see Messi play. Let that sink in. The stadium was half-empty at kickoff, though it eventually filled up as people realized they weren’t being pranked.

The whole situation felt bizarre. It was a peculiar lead-up to a peculiar game, all part of Argentina’s prep for the 2026 World Cup, which will be co-hosted right here in the U.S. Because nothing says “World Cup preparation” like a last-minute venue change and a lopsided thrashing of an underdog.

So, What’s Next for Messi?

While he didn’t add to his goal tally, Messi got a full 90-minute run-out with his national team, which seemed to be the main point. Coach Lionel Scaloni seemed pleased, noting how happy it makes them when he plays and that Messi must have felt at home. No kidding, he literally was at home.

Now, he’ll swap his Argentina kit back for his Inter Miami one, ready for their regular-season finale against Nashville SC. He’s currently leading the MLS with 26 goals and 18 assists, putting him in a prime position to snag another MVP award. As for the World Cup in 2026? Messi remains coy, saying his age is a factor. But after watching him effortlessly dismantle a team without even trying to score, I think we can all agree: he’s probably got a few more good years left in him.