Did I ever mention where the series name comes from? — Missing Turnbuckle? Fun story, actually.
I wanted a name for this series that really spoke to the mystery behind the missing turnbuckle wrestlers would pull from the corner — as these stories are about dream matches we’ll never get to see. One of them being this particular one by a couple of ladies you’d never see together in our history, but you’d definitely would love to, given the level of badassery that would come of it. What’s this one going to be about, you say? None other than Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch!
The Tale of the Tape
So, once again, welcome to the Missing Turnbuckle, a literary “deathmatch,” if you will, like one of those claymation ones we always saw on MTV. Except no claymation. And no blood and guts (although it would be cool to see something like that).
Speaking of deathmatches, though, doozies like this Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch one should be on every day. Women aren’t pansies, man. After all, we have “hybrid divas” like Kaitlyn, who, back in the day, made it cool for ladies to get ripped in places no one ever thought ladies could. So let me introduce you to a true Amazon, one who, herself, is quite the eye candy —
In This Corner, We Have Kaitlyn!
Yep. Quite the looker. But don’t piss her off. Look at her guns (the ones attached to her shoulders, people, get your heads out of the gutter). As I said, she introduced an era of women’s wrestling that was hardly seen at all, even by the classics of the pro wrestling golden era.
In the ring, she backed up the chiseled look with some beatdowns you wouldn’t believe. That was, though — now that we’re talking about backing things up — “back” in the day. Because Kaitlyn has been retired since 2014, although she made a brief return to the ring for the Mae Young Classic in 2018.
She arguably had a spear in the ring better than even Goldberg, Edge, or Roman Reigns. And that’s saying something. But what just might’ve put her over the “Edge” in many ways was the fact that while she had the size to match, she also had the speed of those smaller ladies — and even the male cruiserweights — to outwit, outpace and outdo just about any other diva of her time.
It’s actually a shame she’s no longer with WWE…
Because of this lady, we have the likes of female wrestlers such as Ronda Rousey, although that beast of a former MMA star didn’t need any inspiration. Kaitlyn, however, just made it the standard of excellence, leading to the women’s revolution of female wrestlers that transcended the glitz and glamour of girly-girly action and sex appeal.
It’s partly because of her, in fact, that we have one recently crowned Women’s WWE Champion today —
And on This Corner, We Have Becky Lynch!
One thing’s for sure…. This chick can fight. Did you see the one broadcast of her in the ring with a bloody nose? She won’t shy away from throwing hands. Or receiving them. And what do you expect? There are two reasons why she’s a fighter — one, she’s married to Seth Rollins, and two, she’s Irish!
Last I checked, those Irish are tough nuts to crack.
This Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch dream match, though, is an especially tough one for me given the dynamics. It’s not an easy decision. On the one hand, you have a real cannonball of a blonde bombshell with black streaks; on the other, the Irish Lass Kicker with the means to dislocate your arm if you give her too much of a chance.
Plus, don’t be fooled by Becky Lynch’s rather smaller size. This beast of Lucky Charms won’t be a leprechaun in the gym. She can probably outdo you in bench press. All without a pot a’ gold.
Still, a decision must be made about this Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch deathmatch. And while the WWE women’s championship may be around Lynch’s waist, it’s pretty clear:
It’s Kaitlyn for the Win!
Now, Becky, please don’t lynch me. Or disarm me. Allow me to explain my decision of the Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch match:
I’ll first off say right out that if I had any fight simulator on this, I can only imagine that Kaitlyn probably would win 51 out of 100 matches with Becky. So this may be a clear win — but by a real thin hair! I believe it would be that close — practically a toss-up.
What swings the gate slightly for me is the double-whammy of Kaitlyn’s speed and strength. Don’t get me wrong: Lynch can chase down the best of them, too, but there’s a certain anticipation with how Kaitlyn operates, which ties into her use of the spear.
She basically comes out of nowhere. And she comes out fierce. It would be hard to breathe after being speared like the way Kaitlyn would.
Post Wrap-Up of the Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch Match
Yet it would also be insanely gripping seeing Kaitlyn suffer through a Disarm-Her, though; but the problem with this is just how many resources Kaitlyn might have in pulling through. That upper-body strength she has won’t be denied.
She’s so limber, versatile, and dexterous — that unless Lynch can manage to be on a few dozen Red Bulls to keep the energy up and maybe Seth Rollins blinding the former Diva’s Champion with his rather extravagant outfits, I think this 30+-minute match from Hell would end with Kaitlyn eeking out a victory.
And, boy, what a Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch matches it would be. On some other universe.
But, just so we’re clear, that’s my as-accurate-as-possible opinion on the matter! All you fun readers out there are free to give your two cents in the comments below. Let me know what you think about the outcome of this dream match of Kaitlyn Vs. Becky Lynch! I welcome all comments.
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